I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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