apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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