So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
