Don't you send me to vm
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
