your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
