Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The adults are the big ones right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
