i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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