I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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