So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
