i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
