you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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