She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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