I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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