i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
