Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
