we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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