I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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