i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize