Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
