I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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