Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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