A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize