I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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