Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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