Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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