Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
