so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
