So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
