nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
