i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
