Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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