Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
