I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They have beer where we have blood.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
