even my farts smell like vagina
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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