TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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