Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
