At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize