drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
