No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
