Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
