The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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