i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
