people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor