dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.