Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
