Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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