Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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