I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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