so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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