what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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