Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
