On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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