nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
