I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
