It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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