just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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