girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He better not be in your backpack
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
