Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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