I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
